Realiz...

Realizing you messed up seriously, hurt.Realizing you might of just messed up something great that was going for you, pain. Realizing that she might not call you, torture.Realizing that you might of just hurt the girl you love, Hell.I'm sorry, i don't know what else to say, but i can think of plenty to do.told you tonight would suck...

like i said,...

like i said, i was being stupid. Nothing is wrong with ashley and i, we're both extremely happy, and its wonderful. I love her. A lot. However, i got delt a blow from somewhere else in my life where something was wrong. Ill explain later if i want to, but dont bother asking unless i bring it up. And don't question ashley either, she wont tell you a damn thing. I can say that because she loves me more. so ha.im tired and Kaida is home from the vet for the first night,out

*sigh*

Why i it that i get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong? but to me, the only place things could be possibly wrong are with ashley's and i's relationship. I dont know. Are you(Ashley) not telling me something? i hate feeling like this, but if i dont know whats wrong i cant very well fix it now can i? I honestly love her, even if she is untrustworthy according to someone, i just hope nothings wrong. Hopefully im being stupid. Maybe im just afraid of being hurt again, my last 4 girlfriends have cheated on me with someone. This does't make it fair for ashley and im trying my hardest to think against it. but its happened so many times it makes me wonder.. Will she hurt me? I can't answer that, maybe thats what bugs me. I'll just have to talk to her in person when this wedding thing is over and i can see her. Well im going to lay down for a couple of mins before work, out.

thats nice

school, i have to take one final, my i pod was broken, and then it worked and i got all excited, and it broke again. Buts its been one of those days thats just constant up and down. Defiantly.out.

thi...

this is ashley updating for cory. he's beating up kaida right now, and it's rather humerous. aw. he's singing to her. cute! in case anyone had any doubt, cory is the best ever. EVER.if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me, ashley. thank you, and carry on. ♥ashleythe girlfriend.

Heya

Hey, i've been really busy lately.. being hanging out with ashley, playing games, and going to work. Going to bed now i have 2 test tomorrow, and then work at 3 so i'm out.outtie

Played game...

Played games, saw ashley, took pictures post them later maybe, and now going to sleepouttie

heh

Awesome day, school, games, Ashley :), what more could i ask for?out

time

woke up, school, played games, went to pets mart to get my brother, came home, went out with ashley, came home, played with kaida, played more games, and now i'm going to bed at 1 10 Today was nice, i saw ash, got to play games, and also spend some time with her outside of school. Outtie

heh..

Had a really good day today, I saw Ashley finally! I know it was only 2
days but it seemed like forever. And for everyone, we are dating.
I like her a lot so be happy for me. We went out to eat, it was nice.

Well I’m outtie
ttyl

sleep and boredem = bed

Work, brothers playing games, coming home. The highlight of today, her calling me while at my brother’s house. I can’t wait till Monday when I get to see her again.Outs

*whats love got to do with it....*

Pretty easy day, today. Went to sleep at 7 this morning, then got up at
2 and took Kaida to her vet appointment at 3 for her boosters. Got her
some new toys and stopped by sonic on the way home. Went over to Ryan’s
house to play games but ended up going around to all the
electronic stores looking for ram for my computer. We came up empty
handed so went off to play anyway. But I’ve decided that I’m not going
to buy ram unless I play this game for at least another 2 weeks. Doubt
I will so I wont waste the money. Time to just start saving for
something random again like my I pod. I have to go to work
tomorrow at 10, and its one right now. I don’t want to go to bed. I
want to go have some of my pumpkin pie, and fell sorry for myself
because she’s not here. I miss her already and it hasn’t even been that
long since I last saw her. Hm well work and EQ2 will keep it off my
mind till she comes back. good thing she still calls though! I’d go
nuts if she didn’t.

That’s what I love about her, I see here picture,
it makes me smile, I get to hear her voice on my voice mail and
it makes me happy, because she cares enough to leave one, I get to
actually talk to her and I’m ecstatic, and I when I get to see her I’m
in awe. It seems like nothing to most people, but this makes me happy.
Theses little nothings she does. Its just wonderful, she’s just
wonderful.

To bad half of yall don’t even know who she is…

Outtie. *throws a duce*

Yeah, sleep is good for you

Well its 5:30 A.M. and I just walked in the door, my mom
doesn’t care, she is asleep. Figures. Well the past 2 days have been
nothing special at all really, being I cant very well talk about them
but yeah, sorry.

Yesterday.


Don’t remember the time I got up, late though. Went skating for
awhile, it was so nice outside! I loved it. Skated for like 3 or 4
hours, sat in my car and did nothing, listened to my I pod until it
died then came home. And that’s about as far as the afternoon went.
That night when out with some friends and things for dinner, and
stopped by the house for a second. Went out to my brothers and played
halo 2 till about 3 or 4 am. Then drove home. Went to sleep and the
woke up today.

Today.


Well woke up at about 8:30-ish and started the great
cooking day of thanksgiving. Making everything was fun but tiring.
Cooked and made things till about, eh 5 or 6, then we had eaten by
6:30. All that time spent cooking for such a short meal. then sat
around for about. Well until about 10. Then went to wal-mart to get
something for my computer, that they didn’t have. So coming home empty
handed my brother and I discussed all that could be trigging the
fuck-up-ee-ness with my computer. After doing about 7 things we
said screw it, play the game on it how it is now. Well we take the
travel to his apartment way out holly, and I set up my computer
(laptop) and start playing, take a break, eat some white castle burgers
(tasted like bad meatloaf), and went back to playing. 4:45 (am) rolls
by and I’m like fuck, better be getting home. My brother, half
asleep, “ Yeah, Yeah, Door’s over there…” I’m like “thanks,
didn’t know that one Ryan.” got in my car and started the drive home.

Drive Home.

Things debated in my head at 5 in the morning.

Weather or not to spend the $500 on that Sony digital camera (the
new TI one) I want, or to spend it on memory for a game that already
cost $15 a month, which I don’t like all that much and am thinking
about canceling anyway. That I only play when no one is doing
anything, and being that I’ve been pretty busy the past 2 weeks, I
don’t play at all.


Also that Kaida has a vet appointment at 3 tomorrow for her booster shots.


And the fact that I’m throwing money around like nothing now when less
than 4 months ago I was very budgeted with it all. What in the hell
changed.. maybe school! that’s it. Friggen school.


Finally, the fact that I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY WHAT I WANT IN THIS
GOD DAMN JOURNAL BECAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT GET MAD OR UPSET. This all
goes along with what I want and the fact that I know no one cares about
it. Example, Who I want to date and be able to call my girlfriend.
Everyone seems to have an opinion about it. Well please, shut up and be
happy that I’m happy, because one day it will be your happiness over
mine and you’ll pick yours, because that’s the way the world works. And
if something REALLY bugs you, pull me aside and we’ll talk about
it.


Pulling me aside==== call me, IM me or e mail me, do not post it as a comment.


I’m tired, my foots asleep, and I’m going to bed, this will probably be
edited tomorrow sometime because I know it probably sounds funny, or
doesn’t make sense somewhere.


Outtie ya’ll

What c...

What can I say more other than I had a good day today? If I think of something ill post it.

So this i...

So this is my day, woke up, bummed around, played with kaida, then went
out to lunch with Celina. After that went to ki’s house but she
couldn’t go with Celi, ash, and I to wallbangers. But yeah
this is Celi and I’s receipt from benagains. (sp?)



Haha funny waiter guy added all that.

Its 1

Im bored, lets go do something, I want to go to dinner tonight, I need to go pay my cell bill, and I don’t want to go alone.
Hit me up guys, or girls, whatever, 443 5994. Lets do something.



Well my candle just burned
out, im going to get a new one, cash my check, and pay my cell phone
bill, call me up on it if I’m paying for it.


Ill post later

outties

Yeah.

Did nothing today, woke up about one-ish cleaned the whole damn house half asleep for no reason, or for reasons i cannot remember at the moment. I never shaved today, took a shower though. I felt so, Hick.. Maybe also because I spent most of the day in pants 2 sizes to big and my boxers were showing. The pizza girl liked it. then decided to find a white undershirt after I deiced not to want to be hit on by the damn pizza girl. The rest of the day will remain unknown for most of ya’ll though, I cant say, sorry.It sucks not being able to say what I think for the fact someone will turn it on someone else or better off me and then ill have to be mean and frankly I’m not in that kind of mood. Being that I just started this too someone needs to school me on the picture post thing.. I’ve got a lot of them. No worries though. Oh and the private thing so i can stop useing the xanga if you read on.Well I’m outtie because EVERYONE and their mother wants to read this being that I HATE these damn things with a passion. On another note, comment if you think ill give you my Xanga one to know what I really think and all, sorry to say most of ya’ll wont make it.. And most of the people that would, wouldn’t read it anyway.